


Flashes

by SUCatte (CosmoCatte)



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:53:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27415300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CosmoCatte/pseuds/SUCatte
Summary: Oneshot.  Ever since Steven and his gem reunited, he's been plagued with nightmares and flashes of that day...  one night, when it's just too much for him to keep inside, he seeks comfort in the moonlight...  It's just his luck that Pearl would come upon him then, of all nights.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	Flashes

The light of the full moon cast a cool glow over Beach City, the hustle and bustle of the small locale completely stilled in the night. Across the city, the residents slept and recharged for the day ahead...

All but one.

Below the large stone monument chiseled into a clifface stood Steven, leaned against the railing of the beach house’s deck. His skin was paler, lacking much of its normal warm hue and glistening with the cold sweat that thinly-coated it. Soft, shuddering breaths left the teen as he gazed down towards the ground below, his tears falling with a faint pink hue.

It wasn’t the first time he’d been shaken from his sleep this way, but it was the first time he had since he returned from Homeworld.

One of his hands drifed down, resting atop his shirt where he could feel the gem beneath. He gently trailed the outlines of his gem’s hard edges, a fidgeting gesture once comforting to him but now leaving him with a feeling of emptiness. The sensation bringing up bad emotions admist the good, canceling out whatever comfort it might have brought forth.

He shut his eyes, sucking in a breath of air and letting out a shaky exhale, as he tried to push the flutters of memory from his mind.

_ “STEVEN!” Connie screamed, as White Diamond’s large hand reached out and took a hold of Steven. He was lifted high above the ground, ever closer to the terrifying visage of the glowing diamond before him. Try as he might, no amount of struggling would let him get free. _

Steven let out a soft whimper, one hand gripping at the wood of the railing while his fingers tensed atop his gem.

_ “Now, Starlight, this has gone on long enough...” She’d cooed the words out with such a calm and confidence, as though there wasn’t a doubt in her mind she was doing the right thing. A lone finger moved, the nail hooking under the hem of Steven’s shirt and pulling it up and back to reveal his gem. _

_ “It’s time to come out,  ** Pink ** ...” Steven’s eyes had gone wide and yet his pupils small as dots, the icy sensation of those two nails hooked just beneath the edges of his gem shaking him to his very core. _

His fingers clenched tightly at the edges of his gem, gently pressing into his own flesh as he shook his head and whispered soft pleas for none to hear.

_ Steven’s eyes shut as he felt her pull, as a dull sensation of pain and a chill with it shot through his system. Hundreds of things crossed his mind in those moments as time seemed to come to a crawl --- regrets, fears, questions never answered. A torrential flow of emotions as he was left to wonder if these next moments would be his last- _

__

Steven let out a strained gasp, releasing his gem and collapsing against the railing with ragged breaths. His eyes were wide, tears pricking at the corners while he tried to maintain his composure. He shook his head furiously, wiping the tears away as best he could only for more to take their place. Trying to remind himself that it was only a dream...

_ ‘But still happened...’ _ He thought bitterly in reply to his own thoughts.  _ ‘It still happened and I can’t stop thinking about it-‘ _

“Steven?”

He tensed up, Pearl’s voice pulling him from his thoughts. Slowly, he turned his head and gazed over his shoulder to the door of the beach house; Pearl stood halfway in the doorframe, looking confused. That confusion immediately flashed into concern though, at the sight of tears on Steven’s face.

“Steven, what’s wrong?” Pearl moved closer, but Steven quickly turned and hid his face from the Gem. She placed a hand on his shoulder, feeling resistance as she slowly turned him to face her.

“I...” Steven hated the worry on Pearl’s face --- he hated that he’d caused it, that she had to feel this for him.

“Did something happen, Steven? A-are you hurt?” Pearl sounded somewhat frantic, already beginning to fuss over the teen as she had for years. It made Steven feel warm for but a brief moment, before he was quickly pulled back into the chill of his nightmares.

“I-I’m...” The words died on his tongue before he could get out ‘fine’, the half-Gem unable to force the words out and certain that if he had Pearl wouldn’t have believed them anyways. He screwed his eyes shut, trying and failing to hold back the tears that pushed their way free. The warm hold of Pearl closed around him, and Steven once more found his legs losing the strength to support him.

He leaned against Pearl, the two embracing in silence for some time. The only things to break the silence were the waves crashing against the shore, and the occasional gust of wind that bathed them in the scent of the ocean.

When the silence was eventually broken, it was by a sniffle. Steven cleared his throat meekly, pulling away from Pearl just enough to gaze at her.

Pearl gazed back in silence, wanting Steven to open up but knowing she couldn’t force it. He looked like he so desperately wanted to talk, but something was holding him back. She saw that look in his eyes more than she cared to admit since he returned from his two-year stay on Homeworld.

”You know... Once upon a time you would’ve had to crane your neck so far back just to look up at me.” Pearl began slowly, a soft smile on her face as she spoke. “Now look at you, getting so tall... one of these days you’re going to be looking down at me, aren’t you?”

The corners of Steven’s lips twitched, a smile fighting to show through as he listened to Pearl. ”Y-yeah, maybe... eheh...” A weak, soft laugh left him, as he realized he was barely looking up at all to make eye contact.

”You’re growing up, Steven...” Pearl’s smile was tainted by a twinge of sadness, her eyes betraying her worry still as she gazed down at him. “But despite that I still worry about you... And if something’s bothering you, I...

You’ve always been there for us, Steven. You’ve been our shoulder to cry on for so long, longer than you ever should have had to be...” Pearl’s words broke as she found herself becoming choked up. She saw the concern in his eyes, and it pushed her to quickly pull herself together.

”Please, let me do the same for you.” She asked softly. ”What’s wrong, Steven...?”

Steven’s words were caught in his throat, so desperately wanting to let it all out and yet something holding him back. Why did he so deeply feel the need to hold back how he was feeling? It wasn’t a new sensation to him. He’d often held his feelings inside when stresses were high or there were more important things at stake.

Now though, nothing else was going on. All was still, and the only thing at stake was himself... so why did that same instinct to bottle it up grip him now?

“I-I’m.. I’m trying to tell you, I just...” Steven sniffled, his voice completely void of its usual cheer and bubbliness. It sounded broken, hollow. Like he’d completely fallen apart... and truthfully, he didn’t feel far off.

“I-It won’t come out...”

“Oh, Steven...” Pearl mumbled softly, resting a hand on his cheek and brushing away some of his tears with her thumb. ”I know that feeling more than anyone... to want -- no, to need -- to tell the people you care about something, only to be fighting yourself in your attempts to try...” Even now, speaking about Rose -- about Pink -- she could feel her hands twitch, a reflexive urge to silence herself that she wasn’t sure would ever truly leave.

“You were the one who finally broke through...” She laughed softly. ”You freed me from my silence, and now here I am trying to return the favor... It’s funny how things work out, isn’t it?”

Steven gave a soft nod, forcing a meek smile, however quickly it fell away. He could appreciate the irony, but he had a hard time seeing the humor in it now. She  _ was _ right though. Above anyone else, she would understand his difficulty.

Somehow, that made it the slightest bit easier for him to open up...

The silence that came before washed over them once more, and Steven nestled his head into the crook of Pearl’s neck. It was something he hadn’t done since he was much younger, but unlike his earlier fidgeting the comfort he gained from it was as potent as ever.

He let himself stay like that for as long as it took, feeling one of Pearl’s hands lightly playing with his hair and ruffling it. Despite his poor state of mind, he savored the moment of reprieve, stretching it out as long as he could before he finally pulled back once more.

He reached up, wiping the tears from his eyes with one hand, sucking in a slow, shaky breath and exhaling the same way.

”...Back on Homeworld...” Steven started, seeing Pearl perk up as he did. ”W-when we first got there, two years ago I mean... When White Diamond had taken control of you guys...”

Pearl already didn’t like where this was going. A bad feeling was settling where her stomach would be, a dread in her chest as Steven struggled through his words.

”S-she picked me up, s-she was so  _ sure _ I was Mom...” Steven was getting choked up, the tearswelling and flowing more feely now as he went on. ”I- no matter what I said, she just wouldn’t listen... there was no reasoning with her, she was...”

Steven let out a full-on sob, burying his head in Pearl’s chest with a weak cry. She squeezed him tightly, resting her chin atop his head as he once more sought comfort in her hold.

“You’re doing good, Steven...” Pearl softly reassured him, trying to ease the shaking she felt beginning throughout her. She couldn’t help it --- it was so unlike Steven to be like this... or was it simply that it was unlike him to slip up and let them  _ see _ him like this?

”She...” Steven spoke into Pearl’s chest, knowing if he pulled away he would only clam up and break down. ”P-pearl, she... m-my gem, she... She pulled it out...”

Pearl went cold.

She held Steven as tightly as she could in that moment, concern and fear crashing into her despite knowing her baby boy was safe and sound, that he was standing in front of her and unharmed... but even that wasn’t true. He had been harmed, but the damage that lingered was mental...

“S-steven, you...” She felt tears welling in her own eyes. She had  _ been there _ , she could have protected him from White! How could she let that happen to him, how could she let herself be forced to stand by and watch, completely oblivious?!

”I-it was so scary... I-I felt so weak, weaker than I ever had before...” Steven mumbled, his tears wetting Pearl’s shirt as they began to flow anew. ”I-I thought I was going to die, a-and... a-and I thought I’d  _ failed _ you guys...”

_ ‘Even when he thought he was dying..’ _ The fact that even then, his focus was on the Gems more than himself, it made her feel guilty. It made her think of how selfless and self-destructive she herself often was, when it came to the others...

”W-when I reunited with my gem, I thought everything was okay... I-I thought that things could go back to normal, and it would all be behind me...” Steven’s sobs became more frequent and potent, the dam holding his emotions back steadily covered in a spiderweb of cracks.

“B-but, Pearl, the nightmares.. the flashes... t-they just won’t stop, they aren’t going away...”

”It’s okay, Steven, it’s going to be okay... I-I promise..” Pearl whispered, finding herself slowly sinking to the ground and taking Steven with her. Steven’s head moved from her chest to her lap, the young hybrid curling up against her.

“W-we’ll get you help... t-the humans, they have these people called therapists...” Pearl explained softly. She’d encountered the concept during a serious discussion or two with Greg and Priyanka, in the aftermath of Spinel’s arrival. They’d dismissed the concept back then becuase Steven seemed  _ fine _ , despite everything, but ...

It seemed they’d been too hasty.

”A-a therapist...?” Was it really that bad? Steven had never considered that these issues could require actual, professional help. He’d always been able to solve the problems of those around him on his own, with his own power... and here he was, unable to fix his own problems.

“Yes, a therapist... Connie’s mother knows a couple good ones. I can talk to her about it as soon as tomorrow.” Pearl played with Steven’s hair, her other hand resting on his arm and rubbing it as he lay there. He didn’t speak, but she watched and felt as he gave a very soft and slow nod.

“Alright, it’s set, then...” Pearl reaffirmed, allowing the silence to wash over them once more. Her gaze laid on Steven for a good while, before it began to drift over the horizon. She watched as the waves crashed upon the shore, the water sparkling under the moonlight.

”Steven, isn’t the ocean so beautiful tonight...?” Pearl spoke no louder than a whisper, prompting Steven to stir just enough to peek out at the water. The two took in the sight together, enjoying each others’ company and simply finding comfort in their contact.

”...It is...” Steven whispered, remembering how he’d been so busy staring down at the ground that he hadn’t taken a moment to gaze on the ocean that night.

Therapy was a scary concept to Steven, he couldn’t lie about that... but, surely, it would be good for him. Pearl seemed to think so, at least...

That was good enough for Steven...

End.

**Author's Note:**

> Hooh, that was interesting to write. I don't usually write such emotional works or scenes that have such intense underlying themes --- my strength is in battle scenes and other more action-focused things. Still, I had this idea as an idle thought and I felt it would be remiss not to at least give it a go. Feedback on this is deeply appreciated and encouraged, so if you have anything good or bad to say about this little oneshot don't hesitate to let me know!


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